Illustration by Romina Pereyra

Have you seen the VC starter kit? Patagucci fleece, Allbirds trainers and a copy of Sapiens to quote at your leisure. Or what about the adland starter kit? Vejas, Nudie Jeans, an ironic slogan tee shirt and, regrettably, your very own newsletter. It must have taken quite a bit of effort to build that site just to point out that some people masquerading as group members don’t truly belong. But whoever built it, by putting in the time and effort to expose the pretenders, proved that they are a true member of the group.

This need to belong dictates the bulk of our behaviour - the way we talk, what we believe, the things we buy - and the groups we belong to play a huge role in forging our identities. But when the image of a lifestyle can be quickly constructed and posted to social media, purchasing a branded product to show our group membership has become too easy, too attainable. To really belong to a group, you need proof of work, proof that you have earned your membership.

Your Patagonia fleece suggests you’re part of the Silicon Valley crowd, but it’s your week-long fasts that show your authentic membership of the group. The Instagram post of your 10k medal suggests you’re the running type, but it’s fixing plasters over your nipples to run 26.2 miles that proves you belong. You can say you’re into football, but it’s your staunch, statistics imbued argument for Conor Coady as England’s pick for centre-back that verifies your love of the game.

Whether it’s weird rituals we perform at work, the strange lengths we’ll go to to obtain certain products (Glastonbury tickets. Every. Year.) or the insane amounts we’ll pay for goods that perform no superior function than others at a fraction of their price (ah, Kanye's $120 white t-shirt), we are all trying to prove we belong.

Look at the growing trend in the social elite of having a large family to show that you can afford to. Ostentation has been replaced by this subtler cue: choosing to engage in activities which seem worthy, but which also carry a hidden and high cost of entry through money or time. It is this inconspicuous consumption - spending on education, childcare, gardening over the conspicuous consumption of cars, watches and bags - that now displays wealth, intelligence and status; authentic membership of the group. This is proof of work.

It used to be that the groups you belonged to were dictated by proximity: your family, your town, your sports team. The authenticity of your membership was verified by your location. Now, only 13% of people in the UK feel a sense of belonging to the community in which they were born and you can choose to belong to any group you wish. But the cost of proving your membership will keep going up.